I voluntarily confronted a misunderstanding from my past this last week--a situation that I thought I had handled correctly but have since discovered was, for the other person, unresolved and an apparent source of bitterness.
It started with a facebook recognition on my part, and then a search for an address, and, ultimately, a letter written to "check in" and to see how we were now doing, many years later. What I received in return was an angry letter, filled with vitriol and bitterness, and laced with hurtful accusations about my handling of the situation in question. The party had pretty much decided to write me off as a Christian imposter, an untrustworthy friend, and a poor excuse for a pastor.
When things like this happen, it is difficult not to adopt a defensive posture and to, I think, carefully seek to evaluate the behavior in question. As I look back, there are things I would do differently now, but in the moment, I responded (I think) in an appropriate way. But that is clearly not the issue--I failed this person, fell short of their expectations, and have forfeited any kind of standing I might have had with them as a fellow believer, friend and pastor.
I responded to the letter apologetically, repeating my desire to so whatever I could to make the situation right. However, I fear the obvious--what was done cannot be undone. And it may be an exercise in futility to continue to try to pursue reconciliation.
Except that I must obey God.
Romans 12:16 tell us to "live in harmony with one another" and verse 18 adds, "If it is possible. as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone."
I feel compelled to do that, with no promise of my desired end of reconciliation, but, hopefully, with the confidence of an obedient heart.
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