Living in a state of perpetual forgiveness...

"Be ye kind one to another, tender-hearted, forgiving one another, even as God, for Christ's sake has forgiven you", Ephesians 4:32.

At a recent prayer meeting at our church a young woman prayed aloud that couples would learn to live with a forgiving spirit towards one another. What a great idea! And there is a scriptural basis for it--Ephesians 4:32, which states that Jesus lives in a perpetual state of forgiveness with us--knowing our sins and failures--and still loves us. We are instructed to treat one another similarly.

What's the problem in marriage? Why can't we "just get along?" A critical issue is unrealistic expectations and non-existent grace. I have spent hundreds of hours in marital counseling and when adultery and physical abuse are not the issues, more often than not, the point of contention is unresolved conflict, i.e. unkind words spoken, an angry exchange, a misunderstanding, an unkept promise, etc. These mushroom into a mountain of misery and a seemingly insurmountable obstacle when unaddressed over time.

What if we lived in a perpetual state of forgiveness with one another? The foundation for that would be acknowledging that is how Christ lives with us and what He calls us to do with one another. How would that work? I am offended, hurt, ignored--I say in my heart, "I can forgive him for that because I knwo he is not eprfect and I know that he loves me." And he responds, "I can't believe she responded that way; she must love me. No wonder I love her so much. I need to do better!" There is a contagious affect when we live this way.

For the skeptics out there who find this suggestion pollyannish and idealistic, let me confrim your worst suspicions. You are right! This flies in the face of conventional human wisdom and is humanly impossible.

It is only possible through the God who forgives us and enables us to forgive others as He has forgiven us. Isn't it worth a try?