seized by the moment

At dinner this week my nephew had a seizure. He was not aware of what was happening, could not remember it when it was over, Glazed eyes and drastically-reduced awareness punctuated his brush with a small seizure but this was followed by a dramatic event at his home the next day, resulting in him being rushed to the emergency room at the local hospital. At 33 he probably has epilepsy. There have been five confirming events in the last week.

I have reflected on that "dead" face, with no emotion and reaction, and the effective verdict that during those thirty seconds my nephew essentially was not there. Though physically present, he was mentally and socially absent. He was totally untouched by everything happening around him. Seized by the moment--and whatever was happening to him physiologically--he was "absent though present".

I have wondered how many moments of life I am "absent thought present". I get so cuaght up in what i am doing that I am impervious to the world around me. Though not physically impacted, I am "seized" by the self-indulgent pursuit of what I think needs to get done in the moment.

And in those moments I miss things. More importantly, I miss people. I miss my famiy. I miss what really matters.

Thankfully, my nephew is on a regimen of medication to control his seizures to insure he has no more of those "absent though present" moments.

For me, I am determined to not be "seized by the moment" and blinded to the things that really matter around me. Seeing my nephew staring with glazed eyes into space is medicine enough for me take stock of my sometimes frenetic activity.