Marriage vows are a part of most traditional wedding ceremonies although, I am told, the contents are ever-changing to facilitate the mercurial nature of marriages today. Going in, it as if there are a list of predetermined caveats that undermine the once-honored "for better, for worse; for richer, for poorer; in sickness and in health..." In their place are the now more common, expected--if not recited words--"as long as we love each other", "until we change", "whenever it takes more effort than I am willing to make", etc.
It is tragic to me to observe the blatant disregard for commitment and the choosing of the path of least resistance as the final arbiter of whether or not two people, once in love, often now parents, decide to remain in their marriage. More often than not is the well-documented legacy of divorce that wreaks its toll upon them and succeeding generations.
I know it well. I have been divorced. As a minister, I desperately want to protect those I counsel from the pain and sorrow that awaits them--that foolishly they expect will be evaded or, at least, diminished, by leaving a troubled relationship. Little consideration is given for the selfishness and costliness of their decision and the inevitable repercussions for little children left in the wake of a breakup for "convenience and comfort", or, for just "pure" lust.
"For better, for worse..." aniticipates that in the normal marriage there may well be a little of both. The vows of commitment declare the determination to stay in the marriage because of a promised love for one another. Such vows do not leave the back door open for a quick departure (eagerly provided for by the State) but, sadly, the words seem to be only rhetoric, a traditon to be adandoned in the name of personal expedience.
It is no wonder things are not better...but worse.
It is tragic to me to observe the blatant disregard for commitment and the choosing of the path of least resistance as the final arbiter of whether or not two people, once in love, often now parents, decide to remain in their marriage. More often than not is the well-documented legacy of divorce that wreaks its toll upon them and succeeding generations.
I know it well. I have been divorced. As a minister, I desperately want to protect those I counsel from the pain and sorrow that awaits them--that foolishly they expect will be evaded or, at least, diminished, by leaving a troubled relationship. Little consideration is given for the selfishness and costliness of their decision and the inevitable repercussions for little children left in the wake of a breakup for "convenience and comfort", or, for just "pure" lust.
"For better, for worse..." aniticipates that in the normal marriage there may well be a little of both. The vows of commitment declare the determination to stay in the marriage because of a promised love for one another. Such vows do not leave the back door open for a quick departure (eagerly provided for by the State) but, sadly, the words seem to be only rhetoric, a traditon to be adandoned in the name of personal expedience.
It is no wonder things are not better...but worse.
3 comments:
Hey Pastor Dale..you may not remember me, but I attended CREMC in D'ville and you and Jason Lancaster Baptized me years ago during me college years...I appreciate your blog and just wanted to stop in and say Hi!
i do remember you--hope all is well with you. my e-mail is daleb@suttercreek.com. let's visit some more. dale
Fun to see rachelle commenting on your blog! The Lord used her inviting me to CREC back in the day...where I was eventually saved!
About your post...I am a child of divorce...and it is so sad to know the statistics of divorce are no different in the church than they are elsewhere.
Even as an almost 32 yr old...it still has its effects. Hopefully one of the positive ones will be that Jerry and I will hang on tight...aware of its evils. We're thankful that J's parents have been married 40+ years.
On a completely different note, did you hear that Debbie Ragland passed away...I learned that from Dave Brown.
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