We want to communicate, I assume, and that is why we engage in verbal and written messages with one another. Sometimes body language accomplishes what we need to say.
But what do we do when we want to communicate thoughts that are diametrically opposed to those of the receiver? We feel like we need to express ourselves but we know at the outset that it is risky, and we can even extrapolate (with a certain degree of accuracy) what the response will sound like.
When we read or listen to the response--or interpret the body language--we ask ourselves, "Why did I even bother?"
And, yet, some of us are driven to communicate. We want to "dialogue"about the things that matter to us. Obviously, we would like an agreeable and affirmative response. Often, however, the response we receive is contrary and even cantakerous. Is the process, then, of any value?
I say "yes!"
It is valuable because we have determined that sharing our feelings is more important than remaining silent to avoid confrontation. We learn to do it in a "winsome" way--non-judgmentally, kindly--and then resign ourselves to the fact the response may not what we desire but telling the truth about how we feel is worth the attempt at dialogue.
What do you think? I promise to listen.
1 comment:
Thanks for your insightful comments.
I am learning about this process as I deal with my grown children. Several of them have adopted mindsets and philosophical vantage points that are clearly contradictory to what I believe--to what I taught them.
They would like to set boundaries for me--i.e. "we heard that while we were growing up", "you see verything through scriptural lens", etc.--and they would prefer I relate to them other than that.
So, if I want to dialogue with them--and I do--I have to recast what I say, or at least, how I say it. I want them to hear me, but the spirit in which I share with them and the content of how I listen--regurgitated back to them thoughtfully and kindly--allows me still to speak to them.
I cannot dilute the importance of things that are important to me simply to be heard. But I can examine how to say what I say.
Sometimes I have to remind them, that I am who I am, and if honest dialogue is to take place I must be allowed to say what I believe.
So we are still talking.
And I am listening.
dale
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