TEARS

I have had several moments in the last few weeks where I was tearful...not a comfortable place for most men. I was thinking about some recent contexts in which I had felt such deep emotion that I could not hide my tears...

*the shared pain of someone I love

*the firsthand observation of unparalleled disaster

*the recognition of personal failure

*a sad movie chronicling life's heartache

*an experience of worship contemplating God's grace to me

As I recall the specific details of each of these experiences I remember the sense of cleansing and relief I felt when my tears were spent, even though I was embarassed at my public display of emotions.

I am learning as I get older that it is okay for me to cry. Even though I have secretly felt for me it was a sign of weakness--and obviously it cannot accompany the daily responsibilities of pastoral ministry (many of which make me want to cry)--I am becoming more comfortable with the idea of being authentic about my true feelings.

John 11:35 observes Jesus at Lazarus' house with the shortest verse of scripture, "Jesus wept". This reminds me that Jesus had a very human side to Him and when we are told by the writer of the book of Hebrews that He is "moved by our infirmities", I am encouraged that tears need not be shunned or stifled.

I shed some tears when I preached on Sunday. I was embarassed. But it was how I really felt about what I was sharing.

It is Wednesday...and I am okay about it.