innocence

I just received a picture of three of my grandchildren in yesterday's email. I cried when the pictures came--I see my grandchildren in Texas 2-3 times a year--and I realized how much I love them. And I cried, I think, because I realize what kind of world that they are entering...innocent as they seem now.

Innocence passes quickly. Reality sets in soon enough...the reality of sin, suffering and sadness. When I look at their faces I am fearful for what awaits them.

Innocence is long gone for me. I know my sin, I know my weaknesses. I understand my selfish motives and my wounded pride. I reflect on what I have learned, often because of bad decisions, and, more often because of inisisting on my own flawed way.

I am not innocent.

But I am forgiven. I am as a little child to God, anxious to grow up into a mature believer.

That glorious prospect is available to everyone--including my grandchildren--when that veil of innocence has been lifted.

I hope I am around to validate that in their lives some day.

THE ENEMY

Why is it so hard to do the right thing?

When we have a strong sense of purpose and what we think is a good plan--and the perceived approval of God--it is disheartening when things don't go well. We may question whether or not we "heard" God right to begin with, or, whether we have done something to incur His disfavor.

Both of those questions could have a basis in reality, but often, disruption of our plans and more often, our timetable, occurs when all things are okay, and God is simply allowing us to be tested and stretched. Can I trust Him when it feels as if everything is in disarray?

I asked myself that question this morning when I was processing a number of things that are being thrown at me by the enemy--the one whose stated purpose is to "steal, kill and destroy" all that is good in our lives (John 10:10).

I know we are doing the right thing. I know God has spoken His purpose and plan to us clearly.

I know the enemy is not happy about it.

I am trusting God to complete what He has begun.

make every effort

Ephesians 4:1-3 talks about the cultivbation of interpersonal relationships and the kind of behavior that is geared towards the maintenance of peace. Verse three implores us "as much as is within you live at peace with one another."

In recent weeks that admonition has been tested within me. As I work alongside people I love and value it is a sometimes frightening discovery to find out we don't always agree. Usually it is methodological issues but they present an opportunity for divsiveness unless these scriptural verses are kept in focus.

I am grateful that the instruction of the Word when applied actually works. If we come to disagreement and we operate in n attitude of gentleness and love, our chances of reaching agreement are incredibly enhanced.

I experienced that this week and it has reaffirmed my confidence in the process of living the Word...and experiencing peace.

rested and recharged

I have been back in the office for a day and a half tomorrow and I have already forgotten what it was like to be at Lake Tahoe, surrounded by towering pine trees and right across the street from the lake with all of its dazzling blue. It is back to the real world.

Surrounded now by towering piles of work on my desk and dazzling challenges from all directions...

But I like my world. It is the world to which God has called me. I live in a wonderful quiet rural town, in a beasutiful home nestled on the top of a hill overlooking the city of Sutter Creek. I have a wonderful job at a terrific church where the people I serve treat me better than I deserve. I am married to a beautiful woman, and have a "quiver full" of children and grandchildren. My health is good and I have the joy of investing my life in ministry.

It doesn't get any better than that.

Some days I wonder.

But today, after what will be a 14 hour work day (which included sweeping out after sheet rockers at our new church building site), I feel exhilarated by the prospects of what God is going to do in the days ahead.

When I get tired, I'll find another lake--or, I will simply remember the faithfulness of God--who always dazzles me when I stop to consider Him!

getaway

Bev and I leave tomorrow morning for Lake Tahoe. It is a getaway encouraged by our caring Board of Elders. We will be gone about ten days and we are leaving at a critical time. I spoke of it to my daughter, Jennifer, yesterday and she merely remarked, "When have you ever gone anywhere that it wasn't a critical time at church?"

Point taken.

There are a bunch of issues, I guess, that come into play when I leave at "critical times".

1. How will they survive without me? (Not really...but my hesitation makes it seem like that)

2. Will the right decisions be made (there are some vital ones to be implemented)? I know they will because we have a seasoned group of elders and deacons who are seeking God's direction.

3. Can I really relax when so much is going on for which I feel responsible? The key here is to acknowledge "I am not responsible". This is God's church, His building program. he can be trusted.

So we are getting away--no television, no church work--only our bikes, lots of good books--and our 18' travel trailer that will be our haven by the side of Lake Tahoe.

It's getaway time. I am ready.

dennis

Dennis is my twin brother and, he like me, is a pastor. I went to visit him yesterday. He lives about sixty miles from me and I wanted to see him because I missed him. He just returned with a group from his church from a work trip in Arizona where he fell on a rock climb, injuring four of his ribs. He was home, recovering--taking it "easy"--preparing for VBS, making sandwiches, planning for the care of a widow who had sprained her ankle, preparing for a dramatic part as a last minute fill-in for someone who couldn't make it, getting ready to set up for the evening acitvities. That's what pastors in smaller churches do.

Dennis pastors the church begun by my father fifty years ago. Some of the grandchildren of people my father pastored are now his parisioners. Dennis does what my father did best--ministers grace and love to his people.

I am proud of him, and my father would be, too!

 

A FRIEND OF MINE DIED...

It was tragic to know that my friend died this week, a very young man. It was more tragic to know that he had reached the abyss of despair and that he took his own life. Just one day before his death I asked a mutual friend how he was doing and he responded, "Not well." The next day he was gone.

He was not a part of our chuch family at Grace but I do believe he was a part of the family of God. Several years ago I was present at his father's funeral where he told how he led his father to Christ before his death. I have known him over the last thirty years and have seen the changes that came into his life following his salvation.

He had some problems with which he grappled most of his days, even as a believer. In recent weeks they had risen up to grab him again by the jugular vein, sapping his spiritual life of hope and vitality, and shutting his mind to the truth of God's grace and mercy.

I read Ephesians 1:3-14 today, and I will read these words at his memorial service. I am buoyed by the words, "For He chose us in Him before the creation of the world...He predestined us to be adopted as His sons through Jesus Christ...to the praise of His glorious grace which He has freely given us in the One He loves. In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God's grace that he has lavished on us...Having believed you were marked in Him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God's possession--to the praise of His glory."

I believe my friend was God's possession...and is now in His presence. It is the certainty of God's grace and mercy that remind me it is so.

Cousin's Camp

We have five of our ten grandchildren here for five days and we are calling it "Cousin's Camp", not original with us. I have taken a week of vacation to assist my wife in this venture and after one day I understand why it takes two of us!

Which is not to say that the kids aren't terrific--they are--but we are a combined 118 years and they are a combined 31 years...get the picture?

On Father's Day I spoke about Paul's admonition to his spiritual son, Timothy in I Timothy 6:10,11, where he tells him to flee from the love of money, to pruse godly character, to fight the good fight of (the) faith and to take hold of (the) eternal life.

This week we get to invest a little of our faith in our grandchildren--already products of wonderful Christian homes. We can affirm what they have already been taught, and punctuate it with a grandparents' touch!

Elusive peace

A woman I know has been told by the doctors that she may have cancer and several tests are in place to ascertain whether or not it is so. The follow-up questions about how to treat it if it is cancer have been answered with a stoic, "There is no treatment". The result for her, of course, is a heightened sense of apprehension as she awaits the verdict.

She sent me these words when I wrote her a note having met with her for prayer and charting now her progress in dealing with worry. Someone had written these words to her.

Release...the regrets from yesterday

Refuse...the fear of tomorrow

Receive, instead...the peace of today

I checked with her yesterday and the tests were inconclusive and now there is another two week waiting period to see if the dreaded cancer is indeed there.

I found this woman calm and relaxed and grateful, receiving the peace of today.

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer ansd petition with thanksgiving present your requests to God. And the peace of God,which trascends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus."

Philippians 4:6,7

nine years and counting

On Thursday Beverly and I will have been married nine years. It is an accomplishment in the sense that she has endured my slow learning curve, and yet, continues to love me.

Our introduction to one another is a miracle story in itself. Every time Bev tells it to one our friends I smile and, sometimes, even cry. It is a the story of God's grace and faithfulness to us both on the heels of marital disappointment and dissolution.

I am thankful for the new life we have together. We love our six children and ten grandchildren, and we are adjusting to the fact they all have their own lives and are, for all intents and purposes, far away from us. Our visits are not nearly often enough but each one reminds us of the legacy of our former lives now melded together into the present.

Thanks, Bev, for the last nine years.

I am counting on many more!

anxiety

A recent sermon by John Piper linked anxiety to the sin of unbelief. His argument from scripture was compelling, unfortunately for me.

I have such difficulty trusting in the moment. I can rehearse and recite God's qualities and track record of faithfulness, but in the situation I can find myself harried and frenzied in a way that is inconsistent with the expression of my faith.

I have a fellow brother who shares the same propensity for worry. When I observe him, it is so easy for me to critique how he is responding...and then I remember he is much like me.

And then I ask, what kind fo example am I to him, my friend?

I have another friend who is the eptiome of calmness, in almost any situation. He was a helicopter pilot in Viet Nam, so he has been in places where that calmness was an absolute necessity. I like hanging around him because I keep hoping his mindset will rub off on me.

Here's to John Piper who reminded me that my anxiety reflects upon my relationship with God and my willingness to truly trust Him and believe His Word.

I am anxious about how soon I will stop worrying...

"Neither do I condemn you..."

The woman caught in adultery, as recorded in John8:1-11, was literally, caught in the act. Mosaic law required that the two witnesses who brought charges would have been simultaneous eye-witnesses to the incident and it is clear she is guilty as she is brought before Jesus.

There is some discussion about the canonicity of this story, and some biblical translations omit it because it is absent from the earliest manuscripts; however, it finds its way into scripture and its truth are certainly commensurate with all Jesus taught. Whether it is original to the gospel of John or was written by another writer inspired by God--perhaps Luke--seems inconsequential in view of its clear message.

The adulteress should have been stoned to death--she and her lover, who is strangely missing from the story--a corroboration of the Pharisees preoccupation with entrapping Jesus, as opposed to arbitrating the law.

But Jesus shows compassion for her, and turns to accusers with the indicting invitation, "he is who is without sin, let him cast the first sone". Soon enough, the woman is left alone with Jesus, while her accusers slip away, impacted by Jesus' writing in the dirt (probably something about their's...)

It is this moment--Jesus and the adulteress alone--that is a moment common to every believer, a moment when we stand alone with Jesus exposed in our sin. It is a moment of recognized guilt, anticipated condemnation, and undeserved and unexpected exoneration.

"I don't condemn you", Jesus says.

Freed of such condemnation (Romans 8:1), I am enabled today to walk in a new life of freedom, made possible through Jesus' words, the expression of His sacrifical work on the cross where He paid the price and took the punishment for my sins.

I am a sinner. I am guilty. He took my guiilt and condemnation on Himself so I might be free.
And He says to me again today, "Go and sin no more".

a messianic complex

I can remember when I graduated from college and headed for the inner city area of Los Angeles County, armed with my Bible, four years of college and an over-abundant amount of confidence that I could change the world.

I spent seven years there and what I struggled to learn was that I could not save the world. I hardly could take good care of myself. I had a misplaced "messianic complex" that resulted in borderline "burnout" after trying to be too many things to too many people.

I am completing my thirty-ninth year in the ministry and I find lingering remnants of that messianic complex--fooling myself into believing that I can fix everything.

The bottom line is that I can fix nothing. I can maneuver things into a better position sometimes, and I can even manage to say some helpful things, but if change for the better occurs, I have learned it is not about me but what God chooses to do in spite of me.

I am in the middle of my seventh building program, the ultimate construction challenge I have faced in my life. I find myself foolishly thinking I can maneuver and manage the changes that I remember in moments of spiritual sobriety are only things God can bring about.

It's about time I figured out that messianic complex, don't you think...?!?

Americal Idol

I watch American Idol every Tuesday night if I am home. I have been trying to figure out what it is that makes me want to.

I am not crazy about most of the music and am not particularly drawn to most of the participants. I am uncertain that there is any redeeming value in the program itself.

Still...I watch.

I have decided that I watch because I am curious. Curious about what it is we like, what it is we want, what it is we idolize.

When the winner was announced last night--Taylor Hicks--his selection was greeted with a coronation-like applause. He was apparently overwhelmed by the moment of adulation and was transparent about his emotions--at times screaming, dancing and pumping his fist into the air.

He is the new American Idol.

He seems passionate about his music, though his voice is sometimes raspy and sharply-pitched in his singing. He loves to dance, and punctuates most of his musical numbers with unchoreographed movements and occasional gyrations.

He is affable enough, and even humble. He appears to just love to sing.

I guess that is why we love him (I didn't vote) and that is why he is now our choice as an Amereican Idol.

I am not sure how I feel about that...but I will probably be watching again next year.

I guess I am just another one of the American Idle

THE BEACH

four days at avila beach and I feel like a new man.

but I have to come back to the real world.

what is there about the foaming angry ocean that is so cleansing? what is it about ocean waves crashing against the ragged rock shorelines that is so peaceful? why is it that I find myself transported to calm and rest in the midst of its fury and restless power?

i know. it feels to me like God is there, in the midst of it all.

in my real world I need to make the same discovery...in the midst of anger, screaming emotions, and power surges.

God is there.

SETBACKS

Setbacks are exactly what the compound word indicates, a moving back from a previous position. Circumstances that "achieve" that end, are called "setbacks".

Our building project has had its share of "setbacks", the most recent being the burgeoning costs at project's end and the shortened cash flow we have to address them.

I wrote the members of our board today and shared the information, ending with these words, "God will provide!"

I know He will...He always has.

We are moving ahead.

heroes

Bob and Sharon Hallissy are friends of mine from earlier days in the ministry. When I pastored in Duncanville, Texas, they were connected with Wycliffe Summer Institute of Linguistics, located nearby, and began attending our church. They and their five month old son, David (now 19), became a regular part of our church fellowship.

I have several distinctive memories of Bob, Sharon and David.

1. David, at his father's request, jumped blind-folded into his arms as a part of my sermon illustration on faith. Fortunately, his father caught him!

2. Bob and Sharon invited our family to their home for a meal and upon questoning, revealed Bob had left a large job at Hewlett Packard in computers (and all the related benefits) for the "struggling" and challenging life of a missionary (my choice of words).

3. Bob was brilliant (from my point of view) and could have written his own ticket in a burgeoning world of software fortunes but had chosen to opt to assist in the work of Bible translation.

4. Bob and Sharon ministered to me in a time when I was literally devastated by a family crisis and encouraged me to remain in ministry. I will never forget their love and reassurance when I needed it most. They were the loving arms of Jesus to me.


Well, after twenty years of friendship, separated by nine years of mutual relocation in new areas of service, I visited the Hallissys in England a few years ago and caught up on our friendship. The culmination was just this weekend when they came to share at Grace and stayed in our home for two days.

They continue to use their gifts and skills to develop tools for utilizing non-Roman script alphabets in translation and Bob helps to develop the software while Sharon faithfully serves as a secretary. Twenty years later their faces continue to reflect the same excitement in serving the Lord and their desire to return to England to resume their work is compelling.

People like Bob and Sharon are the real heroes in Christian service, spending their lives behind the scenes in places far from home so that others might come to know Jesus, and become part of the family of God.

Day of Prayer

I just returned from our county's second annual prayer breakfast, held on the National Day of Prayer and supported by the local churches of the community.

Those in attendance represented about ten churches in our community. About 75 were there for breakfast including about 15 pastors and staff members. There was a challenging speaker and a significant time of prayer addressed towards specific needs of our country. I was glad I was there, surrounded by "two tables" of our church family.

The disappointment for me was that this was all we could muster from our county for the one day a year we meet together to pray--the most important thing we can do together and the most powerful thing we can do for our nation.

II Chronicles 7:14 is probably the most recited verse calling believers to prayer, beginning with these words, "IF MY PEOPLE..."

The promises of that verse--that God would heal our land--must not be inviting or powerful enough for God's people. If we believed they were true, prayer would be our first priority and prayer breakfasts and days of prayer would be more frequent and better attended.

What do you think?

MEDIATION

It is hard to help two parties estranged from each other come to a place of agreement and potential reconciliation. This week I have been involved in that pursuit through the counseling of hurting marriages, the correction of business misunderstandings, and the clarification of working relationships.

I wish I could report "success". I can only hope and pray that God brings healing and restoration in these relationships characterized by broken trust and deep personal hurt.

Jesus is the GREAT mediator. He brings men and women separated from God back into fellowship with Him through His death. It is a costly process with incredible benefits. All we have to do is avail ourselves of His provision for us.

Meidation in the secular world is costly as well. People must be willing to pay theprice of humbling themselves, acknowledging their own failures and taking time to truly listen to the offenses cited by the other party--husband, wife, parent, employer, fellow worker, neighbor, church member, etc.

Sometimes it is not a matter of "right and wrong" but a matter of "give and take". In any case, stepping back for a more honest look, or, for a less defensive posture, may help to mediate the crisis you are facing.

The Word of God encourages us by exhorting us to "make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification..." Romans 14:19. It may cost us something, but the potential benefits will make the sacrifice worth the effort!

my vegetable garden

Bev and I have agreed to garden special areas of our yard--she does the front and I do the back. Bev' s area is beautiful--color-coordinated flowers, contoured lawn and carefully-landscaped beds. The back is all on a slope and much more wild. But I love it!

I have added areas each year of flowers, shrubs and, now, fourteen trees. My original small plot has grown into a massive area of some burgeoning responsibility. My time is limited but when I have a moment I love to get on my hands and knees and pull weeds, redistribute dirt, repair my watering system, and plant new things. I often catch myself smiling when I am doing it, and wondering "why?" I guess it is because I love being in those moments.

This year, in anticipation of Counsin's Camp (we get the grandchildren together and plan a thematic week of activities--"Growing God's Way", this year), I planted a vegetable garden area, complete with peppers, carrots, beans, tomatoes, artichokes and squash. I know...what a combination! It should give the grandkids an object lesson of how things grow when planted, fertilized and watered.

As I was weeding the area, turning the soil over, raking it smooth...and then planting...I found myself smiling once again.