"Set a guard over my mouth..."

The Psalmist(Psalm 141) is praying for God's deliverance from evildoers (verse 9) and for his response to the pressures around him--including accepting the rebuke of a "righteous man" (verse 5)...not an easy thing to do.

But what gets my attention is verse 3, "Set a guard over my mouth, keep watch over the door of my lips".

I acknowledge in my life the need to be quiet, and to watch how I respond. There are multiple opportunities in a normal week to brag about how hard I work, to defend myself against the accusations of others, to cry out against someone who has hurt me, to complain about how I am being treated, etc.

But that is not my desire. I want to guard my mouth, watch my lips, and choose my words carefully.

And sometimes, choose to be quiet.

Amen.

surveys and questionnaires

I often ask myself when wondering how to fill a volunteer gap or how to plan ahead for an event, “What about a survey and/or a questionnaire? Do they work? Do they get read? Are they returned? Are they informative?” To all of the above the answer would be appear to be a resounding “no!” They are seldom returned. So we are not informed and they obviously don’t work. Whether they are even read or not cannot be determined due to my woeful lack of omniscience.

Recently, I included an “Is there any way I can serve…?” bulletin insert. Not one was returned. We ran it again a week later and I received seven out of the three hundred printed and place in the weekly bulletin. For five months off and on we have been trying to compile a church e-mailing list. To date about 25-30 of our 250-300 families have provided the information we requested.

It probably sounds like I’m griping…but I’m not. I am wondering aloud why people don’t want to respond to a survey or fill our a questionnaire? The government has to hire a legion of census takers each year to go door-to-door based on the fact a significant number will not fill them out. They will either protest “I forgot”, “I lost it”, or, “It’s really none of your business…”

I am not sure which of these best describes my dilemma as a pastor. All I have, I argue with myself, is a legitimate “need to know”. So, where do I go from here?

Joab, a commander in David’s army, responded to the Ammonites who seized some of David’s men shaving them, and cutting “off their garments in the middle of their buttocks…”, and thus humiliating them. David was angry, and the Ammonites sensing this, gathered a large army together, along with the Arammeans, hemming in David’s forces in front and behind. Joab said, “Be strong and let us fight bravely for our people and the cities of God. The Lord will do what is good in His sight”. They won a great victory that day as the enemy fled before them—from both sides. Almost 50,000 were killed on that day! (Read I Chronicles 19) Not much strategy in those words, but a total reliance upon God.

“The Lord will do what is good in His sight”. I think that was a huge testament to Joab’s faith in the God who had proven Himself throughout Israel’s history. I am guessing I want to have better control of situations by seeking to fill in all the blanks, preparing for the exact circumstances, etc. That, in and of itself, is certainly not wrong, but it does reflect a tendency on my part to want to have better control of what is going on a round me. So a survey to fill the gaps or a questionnaire to help me prepare better gives me a better sense of what to expect…or not.

I have not sent out my last questionnaire nor have I inserted my last survey into a Sunday morning bulletin. But I am learning that God is in control, and though my information-gathering efforts may continue—with mixed results at best—in the end I must agree with Joab, “The Lord will do what is good in His sight”.

If you liked this devotional, please complete the following survey…just kidding!

what can we be sure of?

I visited this afternoon with an elderly woman who was diagnosed 20 years ago with cancer. She has survived a number of surgeries with amazing resiliency and even though she is battling congestive heart failure, is still "alive and kicking"!

She told me the story of a young relative who was tragically killed in a work-related injury this week--not even forty years old. He was in good health and he and his wife were expecting their first child.

Of this seeming paradox, James writes,
"Now listen, you who say, 'Today or tomorrow we will go do to this or that city'...why you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, 'If it is the Lord's will, we will live and do this or that...'" 4:13-16

It is a matter of quiet confidence to know that our days are numbered. "the length of our days is seventy years--or eighty, if we have the strength; yet their span is but trouble and sorrow, for they quickly pass and we fly away". These words from the 90th Psalm really say we are uncertain about the length of our lives--but we know they will "quickly pass".

What is our response to this? Psalm 90:12 admonishes us "teach us to number our days aright that we may gain a heart of wisdom". The MESSAGE paraphrases it this way, " Oh! Teach us to live well! Teach us to live wisely and well!"

In a recent sermon I heard from John MacArthur he observed, "I don't what to live one day longer than God intends...or die one day sooner!"

Whatever we think about life and the extent of our days, we need to live wisely and well, because we do not know what tomorrow may bring...or if tomorrow will come. Whether 80 or 40, we must be ready for the moment God calls us, with the confidence we are ready to meet Him because we have exercised faith in what Christ has done for us. "For the wages of sin is death but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord." Romans 6:23.

two buddies and breakfast

One of the things I value most in my life is my relationship with some long-time friends. I met with two of them for breakfast this morning and we spent most of the morning talking about our lives--mostly our stuff,and the fact that we had more than enough, and that we are committed to spending our lives wisely as we "round the final turn for home".

We have been influenced by the book, THE HOLE IN OUR GOSPEL, as well as our mutual concern for the spreading of the gospel to the spiritually and physically poor.

I had two eggs, hash browns, corn beef hash and an English muffin for breakfast, half of which I left on my plate. I have been thinking about the pure waste in that alone. Thankfully, one of my buddies paid for my breakfast...so my guilst is assuaged a little!

It is good to have two buddies like this--and a good breakfast in my belly. It reminds me how blessed I am...and how much more we can do with less stuff, a smaller breakfast, and a fully-committed heart for ministry!

Living in a state of perpetual forgiveness...

"Be ye kind one to another, tender-hearted, forgiving one another, even as God, for Christ's sake has forgiven you", Ephesians 4:32.

At a recent prayer meeting at our church a young woman prayed aloud that couples would learn to live with a forgiving spirit towards one another. What a great idea! And there is a scriptural basis for it--Ephesians 4:32, which states that Jesus lives in a perpetual state of forgiveness with us--knowing our sins and failures--and still loves us. We are instructed to treat one another similarly.

What's the problem in marriage? Why can't we "just get along?" A critical issue is unrealistic expectations and non-existent grace. I have spent hundreds of hours in marital counseling and when adultery and physical abuse are not the issues, more often than not, the point of contention is unresolved conflict, i.e. unkind words spoken, an angry exchange, a misunderstanding, an unkept promise, etc. These mushroom into a mountain of misery and a seemingly insurmountable obstacle when unaddressed over time.

What if we lived in a perpetual state of forgiveness with one another? The foundation for that would be acknowledging that is how Christ lives with us and what He calls us to do with one another. How would that work? I am offended, hurt, ignored--I say in my heart, "I can forgive him for that because I knwo he is not eprfect and I know that he loves me." And he responds, "I can't believe she responded that way; she must love me. No wonder I love her so much. I need to do better!" There is a contagious affect when we live this way.

For the skeptics out there who find this suggestion pollyannish and idealistic, let me confrim your worst suspicions. You are right! This flies in the face of conventional human wisdom and is humanly impossible.

It is only possible through the God who forgives us and enables us to forgive others as He has forgiven us. Isn't it worth a try?

ALWAYS...

I am always surprised by how God works. I was gone for a week and scheduled one of our pastors to speak in my absence. I was startled by the news he had not preached due to some unavoidable circumstances, but, in fact, another staff pastor had spoken. I wondered what were the circumstances that could have prompted such a change. I later heard from several sources that the message was well-presented and a family visiting for the first time remarked to me that the sermon topic—a message on “Dealing with Depression”--- was just what she and her husband needed to hear.

I always marvel at how God works. When given a chance to be reflective, I have to ask myself, “Why are you surprised?” God has a sovereign way of dealing with matters that seen in retrospect astounds me. In my best planning and most deliberate efforts I cannot foresee what circumstances will eventuate and what kinds of things will need to take place to bring resolution in unplanned crisis and conflict.

I almost always—there’s that word again, “always”---fall prey to the temptation to sift through circumstances as they unfold and almost predictably allow myself to be carried away by the drama and a strong sense of a need to “fix “ what’s wrong. That is a recipe for disaster. First, of all, my best judgment pales in comparison to the wisdom of God. Secondly, painfully aware of my inadequate resources I am often overwhelmed in the moment by the magnitude of the need. All too often—not always--- thankfully”, I default to “fix it” mode and all the related worry and anxiety that accompany such frivolous work.

I am always reminded in the aftermath of such crises how God has to be my first point of reference. I need to literally resolve to seek the wisdom of His Word and rest in the power of prayer, affirming my total dependency upon a sovereign God who knows the end from the beginning.

In Luke 18:2ff Jesus told a parable about a woman who was in crisis and was seeking justice. She kept going to the judge—the appropriate source for resolution—without immediate results. In the end, however, justice was rendered. The opening verse of this passage reports that Jesus told this story to his disciples “to show them hat they should always pray and not give up”.

In the end—In God’s timing and in God’s way—He always acts, always in concert with His sovereign will and purpose. When something as simple as a speaker “crisis” prompting last-minute change occurs on a Sunday morning I can be confident God will “fix it”. That is His job, not mine. Why am I “always” surprised?

living in the afterglow

It is fun to revel in the memories of a great basketball game. My wife is always surprised at the itensity of enthusiasm men can express when rehearsing an athletic context, not unlike the recent NCAA Men's basketball finals between Butler and Duke. Come on...what a game! Butler had two last second opportunities to create its own "Hoosiers II" story...but missed it by a hair, losing in the end by two points. That is worthy of lots of discussion and revisiting by my friends who love basketball as much as I do.

Of course, over a week has passed now and the lustre of that context has dimmed as the demands of everyday real life set in. There is nothing about that game, extraordinary as it was, that is life-changing for me. It was a pleasant, almost mystical, interruption in my daily life and gave me a few hours of real excitement and happiness.

It would be a tragedy to treat Resurrection Sunday the same way. Wow! What an exciting service! Great music! A full house at church! (Good food, too) And then we gather with friends and rehearse what we remember about the day, exchange our favorite memories of the day...and for a few days we live in the afterglow of its emotion and pathos.

I have determined to revisit my hope anchored in the resurrection daily, if necessary. I suppose for me it is easier than most. As a Hospice chaplain I am almost daily confronted with the dying. Into rooms of suffering, disease and death I enter with a message of hope pulsating within my heart--hope in Christ because He rose from the dead and promsied those who believe in Him, "I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies; and whoever lives and believes in me will never die." John 11:25,26.

This verse ends with these words--"Do you believe this?"

It's the question I leave with you. Living in the afterglow will last only as long as the emotion of the moment. But the long-term efficacy of the truth of the resurrection can resonate within our hearts daily when we have trusted in Christ for our salvation.

What is "good" about Good Friday?

Of all the semantical mysteries encountered by "wordmiths" who view this day in history from a secular vantage point, this has to be at the top of the list. How can Christians observe the brutal execution of their "founder" and call the remembrance of that of that bloodletting "Good Friday"?

Paul writes in I Corinthians 1:18, "For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing but to us who are being saved it is the power of God."

The "good" in Good Friday is impossible to see with eyes that have not been opened to the unbridled sinfuness of man, Jesus' atoning work on the cross for man's sins, and a loving God reaching out to fallen man. "But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: While we were stioll sinners, Christ died for us." Romans 5:8.

On Good Friday (and countless other days as well) I will grieve the costliness of my salvation--what it cost the Father to send His Son to stand in my place--take my sin upon Himself, bear my punishment on the cross, suffering excruciating death to pay sin's penalty--for me.

But I will rejoice, as well. I am the grateful recipient of God's grace...and that is "good: for me...and for all who place their faith and trust in Christ's atoning work on the cross.

chaise lounges

Last summer we bought two outdoor chaise lounges for our deck at a close-out sale from Smith-Hawkins. They were in boxes requiring assembly and they have been hibernating in our garage during the last six months , waiting for the emergence of spring.

We have been talking about assembling them and last night when I came home from work I considered the task I had talked about the previous day--but never got to. I was tired after a twelve hour day, and ready, following a great home-cooked dinner, to settle into my easy chair for an evening of senseless television.

But I thought about those two chaise lounges secure in their shipping boxes, unable to be employed in that state. The cost of releasing them would be the delayed gratification of my easy chair, but the reward of proceeding with their unveiling would be the immediate applause of my wife and the "sooner than later" utilization of them on our deck.

I opted for the garage and the assembly process, and spurred on by my wife's affirmation "Go, Dale!", I finished the task in an hour.

So what's the big deal? Two chaise lounges?

I made a decision to satisfy my wife and not gratify my own selfish desires> I determined to do something productive rather than mindless. and the benefit--though immediate at one level--will be enjoyed long term...if I followed the directions correctly.

Sometimes doing God's will is like assembling two chaise lounges--there are directions, there is opportunity, there is need. But there are also the competing elements of fatigue, minimal mechanical ability and hard work.

When I survey my life as a believer, and my service to God--sometimes I am impassioned by the opportunity and need, and congnizant of the directives of scripture. But arguing against this on the human side are my tiredness, the self- appraisal of my ability (or lack of it) and the demands of what is required.

I hopefully choose to do God's will--no matter what the competing reasons to do otherwise. Ignoring it--just assuming that if I leave the chaise lounges in the garage they will assemble themselves or someone else will come to do it--is not an acceptable option. Recognizing that the chaise lounges are mine to assemble (with clear directions) is the critical step to enjoying their benefits during the hot summer months when I want to relax in the afternoon sun.

By the way, the two chaise lounges still need some finishing touches. I have some work left to do. So...when will I take the next step?

I can hear my wife calling...

dark clouds

Driving home from Sacramento on Monday, we headed up Highway 16 towards our turnoff to Sutter Creek and reluctantly traded the sunshine for black clouds that welcomed us with a somber darkness. The change in a moment of time and within the space of a few miles was stunning.

I awakened this morning, having experienced a great day on Wednesday of renewed hope and optimism, to a darkness that followed me most of the morning. I wondered aloud, "Where did that come from?" As I visited with a friend later I confessed that I was caught unaware by the menacing cloud that blanketed me with an overwhelming sense of sadness.

As I sit at my computer facing a full day yet with Hospice visits, premarital counseling and a board meeting, I am reminded how the enemy would seek to bring perpetual darkness to our lives. His desire is to make us creatures of our emotions and to manipulate us through feelings that vacillate from one season to another--from one moment to the next.

I have made a conscious decision today to celebrate my life, and my relationship with the One who said, "I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness but will have the light of life." John 8:12.

Fitness

Through the generosity of a friend I was provided a gym membership this year. Because he paid for it, I am doubly-motivated to utilze it, even though some days it is a real struggle to get out of bed at 5 a.m., and dirve the short distance it is from my home. it's that old refrain--"the spirit si willing but the flesh is weak"..and cold, and tired.

Today was one of thos mornings. Awake at 4:20 a.m., I had a quiet conversation with myself about a long fourteen hour day behind me and a twelve hour day ahead of me. I applauded myself for how well I had been doing and contemplated the reward of staying in bed and taking a break--something I have not done in the last eight week regimen (even on my vacation week in Dallas I walked..alot!)

Here's the good news. By 5:30 a.m. I was riding feverishly ona stationary bike t the gym and celebrating my will power that catapaulted me olut of bed and into my regimen of exercise. The goal for me s fitness. I am not seeking to become a Charles Atlas look-alike, nor am I competing with the guys who have the "I lift big bar bells" swagger about them. Some of the ladies bike faster than me and there are some older men who look stronger and certainly thinner.

But I want to be a fit grandpa--able to do all the things that I love to do into the last quarter of my life (I did not say that for effect...there is, hopefully, another quarter left!)

Fitness is a spiritual goal for me as well. Am I spiritually fit? Am I ingesting the Word of God as a part of my daily diet? Am I exercsing the principles of God's Word in my daily life? Am I "beefing up" my spiritual muscle by hiding God's Word in my heart?

Some mornings I am tempted to take a break--"I'll pray later" (I remember when the next crisis emerges), or, "I'll study when I get to the office" (and a day of unannounced appointments ravages my time), etc. When that happens with consistency over a period of time, spiritual malnutrition and weakness settle in.

Next appointment at the gym is Saturday mornng.

See you there...?

Reflections on prayer...

I was thinking about prayer as I prepared to write on my blog today after a few weeks away. Five instances come to my mind--(1) a church prayer meeting Wednesday, (2)devotions with my wife today (3) a men's prayer meeting this morning (4) prayer with a buddy yesterday afternoon and (5) a visit and prayer time with a friend who is dying. All of these were for me productive times of prayer for different reasons.

1. On Wednesday evening 40-50 met at the church for nearlt two hours for a schedulesd time of prayer and praise. This was not a large number-I always hope for more--but we have purposed as a body to pray more together corporately. It is always significant to me when we pray for one another. This is a group with whom I am confortable sharing my needs.

2. My daily devotions with Beverly are especially maningful to me these days. We have been reading a book together, "PRAYING FOR YOUR ADULT CHILDREN. With six children (and eleven grandchildren), this is a daily activity for us together. it is a comfort to me to release my family daily to God's love and care and to remind them that we are praying for them. This encoruages them, hopefully, to share their needs with us.

3. I met for prayer with eight othe men at 6:30 a.m. this morning--what a blessing! A core group of us have been doing this regularly for over a year now and we openinly share our concerns--one has prostate cancer, another needs more work, one has a grandson who just had a brain tumor removed, another needs to sell some property, another's brother needs Christ and is facing surgery, etc. I was especially moved by the prayer of one who is retired who prayed aloud,"Lord, use me when I leave this room..."

4. Yesterday afternoon a yong man--almost thirty years younger than me--stopped by the office, and we shared and prayed together. We have some experiences in common, though far apart in years, and we have a common desire to live our lives to the glory of God. He inspires me, and, hopefully, I encourage him when we pray together.

5. A friend is dying. He knows he has just a few months at best to live. He is in some pain and spends alot of time in bed. I am not sure about the depth of his relationship with Christ, but I know he is reaching out and I have a unique opportunity when we share together in prayer to direct him to Christ.

As I reflect on these times of prayer--a sampling of the opportuntities God provides each week--I am reminded what a vital dimension prayer is of my daily life, as I live out my faith and seek to minister to others. I often wonder aloud, "What would I do if I could not pray?"

Thank you, lord.

Dallas, here we come!

I will be gone for the next week visiting children and grandchildren in the Dallas area. They are just digging out of over a foot of snow--an unlikely phenomenon in their neck of the woods.

I am ready for this trip--I have not been to Dallas for a year, so I am anxious to see family. In preparation for the trip I took the day off and rested and, as a result, should be in rare form when we get off the plane! Usually, we run until we leave and then arrive exhausted, get caught up the first few days, and then it is time to go home...still exhasuted.

I love Jesus' invitation to come to Him and find "rest"; I am grateful to God for the rest He gives when we come to Him and yoke oursleves to His strength.

Dallas, here we come, rested and ready for the grandkids!

62... and counting

I received over 100 reminders from well-wishers via Facebook about my 62nd birthday, in addition to a passel of cards from family and friends over a two week period. Another card trickled in yesterday. No one let me forget I am 62.

62 seems like a big number...only 8 short of the "threescore and ten" allotted to us from a scriptural vantage point.

62 means I am standing on the brink of qualifying to receive my social security benefits, should I opt for them early. I can also join AARP and receive discounts for everything from oragel to Grecian formula.

62 means it is 44 years since I graduated from high school and this year 40 years since I graduated from college... My glasses are bifocals and I have a special pair I wear when I am working on my computer. Thankfully, I still have all my teeth intact.

62, my wife tells me, is just a number...but it is a large number (that is my gut response). So...what's next for me as I round the final quarter (am I being too optimistic?) of my life? I can remember running the mile--four times around the track--and the last quarter was the lap I saved my energy for--that final burst as I crossed the finish line.

I have been leading a discussion group of about ten successful men from age 57-72. We have been using Bob Buford's book, HALF TIME, in which he suggests the final half of our life is often spent transitioning from the pursuit of success to seeking for significance. A companion book we are reading is Richard Stearns', THE HOLE IN OUR GOSPEL, in which he shares his life-changing experience in Uganda and his subsequent move from a well-paid position of a major corporation executive to President of World Vision. Both of these books remind those of us who are in this season of life to seriously ask the question, "How do I want to spend the rest of my days?"

At age 62 it is a question I have been asking for several years now as I consider retirement and repositioning myself for the final lap. God may keep me where I have been for the last fourteen years, or, He may have another adventure in mind. What I know is this--I want to spend my days investing in things of eternal value.

Psalm 62 closes with these meaningful words, "Surely you will reward each person according to what he has done." The reward I desire most is to hear Jesus say, "Well done, thou good and faithful servant...come and share your master's happiness" Matthew 25:21 (NIV)

62 means it's time for a sustained burst around the final turn. May God help me to be faithful.

The State of the Union

I have not yet heard President Obama's speech to the nation, but I will listen to it. Before I do, however, let me register my concerns from my small corner of the world in Amador County.

1. The decisions made enlarging the parameters for abortion through the rescinding of legislation under former President Bush is heart-rending. More innocent babies will die and this flagrant violation of the sanctity of life buries our nation deeper in our overt rebellion against God.

2. The President's waffling on the "same sex" marriage issue, which has been soundly voted down by voters in every state where the subject has been presented for adoption, is an unsettling concern in the wake of his protestations of authentic Christian faith which are unequivocally anchored in a commitment to traditional marriage.

3. The decision to send more troops to Afghanistan I reluctantly applaud. None of us--even the most hawkish--welcome war. However, there are times when we are called to stand up for the safety and security of our country. Terroristic threats are real and valid; terrorism on a global scale has not diminished; it continues to accelerate at an alarming rate.

4. The attempts to launch a national health care program are laudable, though the process has been laughable. We need more affordable health care and we need to make it more available through cost effectiveness. To think we as a nation could strap the anticipated exorbitant costs on the back of middle Americans--who already are struggling in a depressed economy--is foolhardy and the recent election results in Massachusetts confirm that.

5. The concern for clean air is a genuine one. The recent Copenhagen Conference on the heels of the revelations that global warming adovcates had doctored the results of their failed research to make their case more acceptable only served to heighten the conflict of suspicions about the validity of scientific research--the "stronghold" of environmental protectionists. We need to protect our water and preserve clean air, but let's do it with integrity.

6. The federal "stimulus package" has served to do nothing but stimulate more sketicism about government programs and government handouts. CNN's recent expose about the few jobs created by the stimulus package has been eye-opening, even from a more liberal news mindset.

7. Unemployment figures are high but they inadequately reflect the total number of people who are unemployed, those who have given up looking for employment and others who are now woefully under-employed. The sugegstion that 20% may be a more accurate reflection of this group should be mind-boggling to us--1 out of 5!

8. The President has sought to replace hard-handed diplomacy with a kinder and more open dialogue with countries like Iran and North Korea. Though I don't think we should be deceived by the tone of their conversations, I do believe there is value in coming to the proverbial table to talk.

9. I am impressed that President Obama has admitted failure; in doing so, he has reminded us he is a human being, without any magical and messianic powers. Undoubtedly, there are many who thought otherwise and are now left to deal with the unhappy political vagaries of partisanship.

10. Former President Bush left office with a high disapproval rating and, though I voted for him, a high degree of personal disenchantment for me. President Obama has emerged from the "honeymoon" period of political life in the White House. His approval ratings have significantly dropped, and the former President's failures seem to have dimmed in the light of the present President's struggles.

It is not a surprise to me that the former President remarked recently in an interview, "I have not missed being in the public limelight". President Obama may rue the day he decided to run for office; it is my opinion he needs more time, and from those of us who find it easier to critique than contibute, more prayer. Who in their right mind would want to be President of the United states?!?

I am praying.

"prayer warriors"...relics of the past

We are engaged in a heavy emphasis on prayer at Grace, culminating in a week of prayer this week and an all-church prayer meeting Wednesday evening. Less than 10% of our church family signed up for a prayer slot on the calendar and we moved the prayer service into the Fellowship Hall so we won't be dwarfed by the sanctuary. Interest and participation at things designed corporately for prayer are always the lowest attended events on the church calendar...unless we serve food, too.

I don't think Grace is an anomaly in the prayer world...not that this gives me any comfort. We either don't pray because we don't think it is important, or that it even works, or, maybe, it is just hard work.

In any case, it is almost mind-boggling that prayer seems to be a last resort, even for believers in view of what many families are facing. Heavy unemployment concerns and family crises have flooded my office in recent weeks. People are hurting, but not praying as you suspect they would, and that, perhaps, the God we pray to is often considered the cuprit--for bring the calamity on, or not intervening to keep it from happening.

A key passage from my sermon last week contains these words, "I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you...and His incomaprably great power for us who believe..." (Ephesians 1:18,19)

Many of our seniors are what I call "prayer warriors"; they can be counted on to say to me, "I am praying for you", and I know that they are. It could be argued that they have more time to pray--and they do--but they often tell me they have learned the power there is in prayer and that it is the greatest weapon they have against the ploys of the enemy. The tragedy is that they are dying off and I wonder who will take their place.

I believe them; more importantly, I believe the Word of God which calls us to prayer and invites us to "approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need". (Hebrews 4:16)

Sadly, I admit, I am not a "prayer warrior". But I am learning in these days that there is no substitute for prayer and that the proclamation that "Jesus Christ is the same eysterday and today and forever" (Hebrews 13:8), means that the God who has faithfully met my needs in the past will meet them today...and tomorrow.

That should make me want to become a "prayer warrior"...

forty-two years...

Someone responded to my most recent blog with the comment..."forty-two years serving a god who does not exist". What a sad commentary. I hope my blog did not solicit his response.

For the record...those forty-two years that have been punctuated with good times and bad times, typical of life. Some of the "bad times" have been the result of decisions I have made and paths I have chosen that were self-indulgent or just acts of pure rebellion against God. Other "bad times" have been the result of sin in a fallen world, and the choices of others around me that impacted me with a measure of pain and discomfort.

The "good times" in ministry have been frequent--people rescued from addiction, marriages restored, lives enriched, fulfillment discovered, relationships healed--all the result of relationships built with the God who does exist.

The existence of God does not mean "bad times" are non-existent. It does introduce us to a divine resource that equips us with His grace and mercy for life's most demanding situations.

Forty-two years and counting...what a privilege to serve God!

unfair

As I listened to someone's story today, I thought to myself, "This is so unfair!" Armed with my "fix-it skills", I lamented the fact that there was nothing I could say or do that would make any appreciable difference. The suffering this person was describing, though seemingly undeserved and misplaced at the hands of evil men, is her life.

I am reading Randy Alcorn's voluminous work, IF GOD IS GOOD... It is a book of more questions than answers but it has challenged me to work through my own subconscious interrogation of God when I can't make sense of things. For my own survival, I decided a long time ago that He is not just sovereign--BUT good. It wasn't as if I figured that out--it was a point of affirmation of faith that I embraced because in most situations I could see God's hand at work; in the situations that I questioned, I purposely determined to defer to God's infinite wisdom.

I applauded the indomitable spirit of my visitor today--she is surviving, though barely--in the midst of heinous circumstances. The road ahead will probably be even rougher; she is anticipating that with the appropriate apprehension. I see her fragile faith searching for a resting place, and as I prayed for her, I asked God to help her face the day with new courage and strength.

It doesn't seem fair. It isn't fair. It is unfair.

I will be praying for her this week. It is what i can do.

Psalm 103

This morning I read the 103rd Psalm. A friend joined me later and I reread it to him. Later this after as I prepared my sermon for Sunday, I envisioned how it would be a fitting climax to my Christmas Sunday message about God’s matchless grace.

“The Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love. He will not always accuse nor will he harbor his anger forever; He does not treat us as we deserve or repay us according to our iniquities, For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is His love for those who fear Him; as far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us…” verses 8-12.

These words are like a subtle fragrance in a smoke-filled room, a beautiful melody hummed in the corridors of a crowded mall. They breathe something so foreign to the normal environs that when noticed they cannot be summarily dismissed.

I entered the haven of my office early today with a dull headache and an upset stomach that would eventually cause me to cancel my care group and to come home early. Still, when I opened my Bible to read and meditate these words settled in my soul and have carried me into the quiet reflection of an unusual evening at home (most Wednesdays I am at our care group).

As I enter my 62nd year and I face the recurrent challenges of the ministry, I am struck by the theme of this Psalm---God loves me as a father loves a son. The characteristic that most draws me into His care is the notion that “He does not treat us as we deserve or repay us according to our iniquities.” This statement of how God chooses to deal with us in the midst of our failures is a compelling component of His compassion and grace.

When I review the past year I think of unmet goals and unkept promises. It isn’t it important to list them—many have to do with the physical disciplines of exercise and diet and my ongoing struggles to treat my body as “the temple of God”. Other areas of ongoing concern include my penchant for worry, my tendency towards “workaholism”, my need to prioritize…and the list goes on. Sadly for me, many of these things were are areas of reoccurring concern, a signal that I am not growing as I should.

Still I am buoyed by God’s affirmation that His love is incomprehensively greater than we can imagine when we “fear Him” and seek to honor Him in our lives. Our heavenly Father is gracious in his forgiveness of our sins and His ongoing commitment to be “abounding in love” towards us.

Equipped with that knowledge I face a new year with an encouraged heart. I can remember my father saying to me “You can do better”, whether I was reluctantly mowing the year or begrudgingly assisting him a painting job as a teenager. Interestingly, I supported myself as a college student and young pastor through yard
work and painting, skills I honed at home growing up. All of that discipline and training was critical in my personal growth and development and my loving father administrated his care with a firm but gentle hand.

The process continues for me. A calendar change merely signal that another day has passed and we have tripped over into a new year. Nothing monumental...just more of the same…but the year changes from 2009 to 2010. And with the change, I recognize that for 44 years now I have been a follower of Christ and in September I began my 43rd year in ministry; with that there comes a growing sense of my dependence upon my heavenly Father. I am grateful that He loves me and forgives me., I am confident He will continue to discipline and direct me because of His love that is great for all who fear Him. That fear is a holy and reverential awe, and results in an ongoing astonishment that He, who knows me so well, loves me so much.

"Everybody's Fine..."

I watched a move on my day off; it was sobering and sad. It is the story of a widowed father's pursuit of his children and their reluctance to embrace him. His wife has been the proverbial "glue" that held the family together and handled the communication. Now that she is gone, the father seeks to take on her role, after a history of heavy-handedness, high expectations and immersion in his work, all which he insists he has done for the sake of his family.

His now grown children are all going through their own struggles, none of which he has been privy to (hidden from him by his wife); upon visiting them he is perceptive enough to discover that life has been painfully hard--even though there are vestiges of success around them--and that their affirmative responses to his critical question, "Are you happy?" are a mask for their real unhappiness.

Nestled in the middle of this drama is the unfolding tragedy of the youngest son, who, before the movie is over, will die of a drug overdose. He is the son Robert Deniro--the father on display--has treated the most harshly in his attempt to motivate him to succeed as an artist and there is a moment of truth when he nearly dies from a heart attack and he confronts the shortfall of his own life. Though it is too late to make amends with his youngest son--he later discovers his son credits him for prodding him to success as an artist--he has a renewed opportunity for reconciliation with his other three children.

I fought some of those same battles as a father--working too many hours ("for them"--I would react defensively), driving my children (sometimes away) because of my perfectionism and not always being a good listener (because I was too busy talking). There were a few tears shed as I watched and did my own personal inventory.

Here's the good news. My kids are a success by anyone's standards. They survived me, and, now, though we might have differing opinions about my failures, I can be comfortable in the relationship we enjoy today. My children live on Nashville, Dallas and London, and I see them once or twice a year (not nearly enough!), but we are always in communication, and, gladly, it didn't take a heart attack to remind me of what matters most. It is the relationships in which we invest that bring the most joy, and, sometimes, sadness. When we know are chidlren are suffering, we experience a certain indescribable kind of pain. But what brings us our greatest happiness are those isolated moments when we know that "everybody's fine".

Go see the movie. Is "everybody fine" in your family?