Dealing with Devastation

You've heard it said--"I felt like I just got run over by a truck".

Whoever lived to describe that experience?  I guess it's what we imagine it would feel like to be have an unexpected unbearable load suddenly thrust upon us.

It literally takes our breath a way...someone said, like a "sucker punch".

Maybe you've experienced such a devastating event, or, are in the midst of an avalanche of chaos and crisis.
The truck has not only run over you, but it feels like its backing up and doing it again...and again.

How do we deal with devastation?

We clearly have to change our focus.  Focusing on the stuff around us can perpetuate the sense of gloom that   accompanies difficulties.  The persecuted Hebrew believers were encouraged with this challenge, "Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith..." (Hebrews 12:2).

Paul tells young believers at Corinth that we "...fix our eyes not on what is seen but on what is unseen.  For what is seen is temporary but what is unseen is eternal", II Corinthians 4:18.

What am I looking at?  The current calamity is devastating but it is temporary.  In terms of eternity, it pales in comparison to what God has planned for me.  I can choose where I direct my focus, heeding the admonition to "set your affections on things above...", Colossians 3:1.

I may still feel like a got run over by a truck.

But I don't have to lay there.

The treasure of good friends

The ministry affords the opportunity for the formation of many meaningful relationships. Over the years I have had the privilege of having many friends, and those are the by-products of ministry that I treasure most.

We are traveling with friends this week and it is a special time of sharing and laughing--even crying together--that I will not soon forget.

I love acrostics--some you know that--and I wanted to identify what i think are the characteristics of a good friend. As you read these, hopefully the faces of people who are dear to you will come to your mind, and like me, you'll be grateful for this treasure.

F-orgiving--a true friend "cuts you some slack" when you've had a bad day or behaved poorly


R-eaffirming--a true friend reminds you of the things that matter most

I-inquiring--a true friend seeks to be conscious of your needs and knows when to ask and when to be quiet

E-ncouraging--a true friend looks for things to do and say to make you feel better

N-on-judgmental-- a true friend never judges you but accepts you with your strengths and weaknesses

D-ependable--a true friend can be counted on to be there in good and bad times

I'm thankful for all of my friends.  Next time I see you, I'm going to tell you...again!

My marriage matters most

I arrived at Matthew 19:1-12 on Sunday and was challenged by Jesus' response to the Pharisees who inquired about divorce,.  They were trying to "test" Him, and to get Him trapped into saying something that would undermine the Mosaic law and thus diminish His Messianic claims.  Additionally, the prominent rabbinic schools had battled about the legitimate reasons for divorce and the school of Hillel had concluded a man could divorce his wife even if she "burned his breakfast" (my words).

Remember the Pharisees' question...divorce for "any and every reason?" (verse 3)

This was an obvious aberration of what God had in mind and Jesus points to the "beginning" and the familiar words of Genesis 2:24, repeated here, affirming the fact that "male and female" become "one flesh" and are "united" ("cleave", KJV) together, not to be ever separated.  this is God's design for marriage.

The "bill of divorcement" (our divorce decree) was granted because of men's "hardness of heart"--sinfulness, unwillingness to forgive, adulteress choices, etc.  It was a concession to protect the sanctity of the marriage covenant and to protect the innocent party who might otherwise be unfairly branded.  The porneia   concession--the "indecency" Deuteronomy 24--included more than adultery--enveloping things like incest, homosexuality, indecent exposure, etc.  Pornography could be a 21st century addition to what the word semantically includes.  I Corinthians 7 suggests that an unbeliever leaving a believer allows that unbeliever not to be "bound" by marriage, as well.

What I think Jesus was really doing in this passage was not so much speaking of divorce--though that is what the Pharisees wanted--but using this as a platform to affirm what marriage was to be, and what such relationships should look like within the kingdom.  This, obviously puzzling the disciples now reminded of God's intended permanency of marriage, prompted them to inquire if being single wasn't a better option. Verses 10-12 provide Jesus' clear answer to that with the obvious conclusion being that marriage is our clear privilege unless calls us specifically to something different.

Which causes me to affirm today--even though I experienced the pain of divorce almost twenty years ago--that my marriage matters most.  God has divinely provided me a partner for the rest of my life.  He has clearly promised me He will guard this relationship as I partner with Him, and He will preserve my marriage as I submit to the principles of His Word, which guide me in how to be a godly husband.

In the sphere of all other relationships and responsibilities, I have determined that this is what matters to me the most.

So help me God!

A word about blogging

I have two sites on which I blog weekly---or, at least, that's my intent.  If you're here, you know pastordalebarrett.blogspot.com; I have another blog at full-lifecoaching.blogspot.com.  Both are accessible from my website, Full-LifeCoaching.com.

I am, sharing this information because I am anxious to hear from you.  Many of you write me in other venues or see me and are kind in expressing your responses to what you have read.  But few use the blog site to respond.

Can you help me by answering a few questions  Some have said you can;t figure out how to post on the blog site so you can write me at daleabarrett@gmail.com.

1.  D you read my blog?  If so, which one(s)?

2.  Is it hard to respond on my blog site?  Which one?  Do you know why?

3.  Have you tried to access my website? If so, was it easy to read my blog there?

Thanks for responding.  It will help me determine what problem I need to fix!

Humility...the forgotten virtue

My associate, Mark Johnson, shared a compelling message about the characteristics of a disciple that emerge from Matthew 18 following the disciples misplaced quesiton, "Who then is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?"  Jesus ignores their question and  makes this telling statement, "Truly I say to you, unless you are converted and become like children you will not enter the kingdom of heaven".

Undoubtedly, the disciples are embarassed that Jesus even knows they were having this discussion (Mark and Luke suggest this), but Jesus skillfully and perceptively directs their attention to the real issue--entrance into the kingdom and what are the expectations of its subjects.  He talks about change--"unless you are converted and become like children you will not enter the kingdom of heaven".  And what is it about children to which he draws attention?  "Whoever then humbles himself as this child, he is is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven". 

And there's the answer to the quesiton that began the conversation.  I'll bet it isn't the answer they expected.

Humility.  The humbleness of a child.  In Jesus' day children had no rights, no privileges, no real value except in their potential as heirs.  This is what Jesus identified as the virtue for particiupation in  His kingdom.  Humility in recognizing who we are without Him and what we can become with Him.

In thinking about our life as citizens in the kingdom of God, we would probably acknoweldge this virtue is the one we  lack most.  By nature, we are prone to self-sufficiency; it is the nature of sinful man.  We find ourselves clamoring for our rights, insisting on special privileges, and foolishly presuming that God needs us.  We aspire for the place of honor, the praise of others, the affirmation of our value. 

It is in us.  It is what we are.  It is how we live.

Without God.

Jesus set this principle in focus when He told His disciples in the Sermon on the Mount, "Blessed are the poor in spirit for theirs is the kingdom of heaven" (Matthew 5:3).  The daily recognition of who I am without God promotes within me an appropriate spirit of humility.  Recognizing the grace of God and His love for me in spite of my sinfulness accentuates how humbled I feel as His child. 

And Hischild I want to be.  A citizen of His kingdom.  A humble recipient of His grace.

I'll try not to forget that this is what "greatness" in God's sight is all about. Thanks, Mark.

Starting my 65th year...

At 1:45 a.m. this morning sixty-four years ago in Portland, Oregon, my mother gave birth to twin boys.  My brother, Dennis, pushing hard, followed me seven minutes later into a bright hospital delivery room where my mother battled for her life with toxemia.

Fast forward sixty-four years; Mom is eighty-seven and doing fine, and my brother, Dennis, and I, along with our wives, will celebrate our birthday together tonight.

At some levels this is the most frightening year of my life.  I am retiring at the end of this year from more than forty-five years of doing something I love, and I'm uncertain what exactly God has in store for me in the future.  I can hear my wife, Beverly, reminding me in the background, "walk by faith".

By the same token, this is also the most exciting year of my life as I ponder more time with my children and grandchildren, additional time in Haiti., the start-up of my own counseling-coaching business and more discretionary time this year to do the things I love to do.  What could be better!

I see this as a serious time for remaining true to some parameters God has helping me put in place in my life as  I look ahead.

1.  I want to finish well.  I'm not done but entering the final quarter of my life, I don't want to retire from serving the Lord.

2.  I want to enjoy my family and friends.  I have been blessed with both and it is my desire to affirm these relationships that have been so meaningful to me.

3.  I want to discover some new challenges. I want to stretch myself beyond my comfort zone to use my discretionary time in creative ways to minister to others.

4.  I want to be physically active.  I hope for more time to hike, ride my bike, camp in my trailer, take long walks with my wife.

5.  I want to deepen my relationship with God--more time in His Word, more time in prayer, more time worshipping Him in the spirit of Romans 12:1.

As I start my sixty-fifth year, it is with the quiet confidence that the God who has called me to Himself, will continue to care for me and will complete the work He has begun in me before he calls me home,   Philippians 1:6.

"little faith"

Matthew 17, Mark 9 and Luke 9 all tell the story of a father's concern for his demon-possessed son who manifested alarming characteristics of a frenzied-like epilepsy.  When Jesus hears his story, tinged with all the emotions of a grieving father who had unsuccessfully sought the disciples' help in casting out the demon, He responded to the desperate man's request--"But if you can do anything take pity on us and help us"--with a short question, "If you can?"
"
"If you can?" Jesus seems almost incredulous at the request.  He could have been thinking--"You've seen me to do miracles. You've heard about my demon-casting out power (or you wouldn't even be here).  You've come to seek my help.  And, yet, you doubt my ability."  "If you can?"

Jesus continued.  "Everything is possible for him who believes", and the embarrassed father responded,        "I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief."


And Jesus miraculously delivered the young boy from the demonic presence.  as the boy lay like a corpse like he was dead on the ground, "...Jesus took him by the hand and lifted him to his feet and he stood up".  Luke records, "And they were all amazed at the greatness of God".


All the gospel writers record the disciples' frustration that they could not cast out the demon--"Why could we not drive it out?" Mark observes that Jesus answered,  "This kind can come out only by prayer", intimating that the disciples had acted in their own strength, not availing themselves of the divine power of God. Or, perhaps, they had not been  totally confident that God could accomplish this act of deliverance through them for Matthew records Jesus' response in these words  "Because you have so little faith.  I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to the mountain 'Move from here to there' and it will move.  Nothing will be impossible for you."


The father of the demon-possessed boy had faith; he brought his son to the disciples and, ultimately, to Jesus.

The disciples had faith.  They attempted to cast out the evil spirit, no easy task.

What they had in common was "little faith".


"Little faith" is not about the quantity of faith--Jesus had said it only has to be as big as a small mustard seed--but about the quality of faith.

Do you believe Jesus can--is He big enough?  Have you come to  Him in prayerful dependence so that you can accept His will and purpose no matter what the outcome?  It takes  genuine faith--focused on a sovereign God with a  plan and purpose for our lives--to believe that He is able to do the perfect thing that we need for our good and His glory.

How "little" is your faith?  How big is your God?

Prayer for Papau, New Guinea

Six of our church members are currently ministering in Papau, New Guinea.  They are there for three weeks with a number of tasks--teaching at the pastoral training school, holding VBS's in the villages, and ministering to the forgotten women of that area, affirming their value in God's sight.

This required enormous preparation.  Materials for 2000 chidlren were prepared in advance.  Teaching posters were masterfully and artisically produced as visuals for the women and children (Thanks, Debbie).  Pastor Mark and Logan have studied for several months studying the book of Hebrews to be taught to the young men at the seminary.  The rest of the team--Desiree, Mikel, Mary and Morgan--have been getting ready for their parts, as well, training themselves to clearly articulate the gospel that they will be sharing in the various venues provided.

This is an all-church venture.  Many helped cut out and assemble the materials for the children.  Otghers helped by donating 100 study Bibles for ther pastors.  Otehrs have given to help cover the costs of travel, food, medical supllies and all the other necessitities associated with a ministry as      far-reaching as this--nearly $30,000.  A commissioning service with congregation gathered in prayerful affirmation around the team the Sunday they left was an opportunity for us all to be bound together in this ministry.

The key component, however, is prayer.  "God moves in response to the prayers of His people", writes Billingham in his book, DESTINED FOR THE THRONE.  Some of us are gathering by a small white cross outside of Jackson on Hwy 88 at 7:45 a.m. Thursday mornings; others are meeting together for prsayer in cae groups and Bible studies, remembering the team.  Sunday morning we took time in oiur worship service to join hearts together for the people of Papau, New Guinea--part of the church--the body of Christ around the world.

Everywhere I go people ask me, "Have you heard from the team?"  That m,akes me believe that we are heeding the command to "Pray without ceasing" and even though not physically on our knees before God, our hearts are continually turned towards Him in behalf of those we love--our team and the people of Papau, New Guinea.

When all else fails...

What happens when someone you love is overwhelmed by drug addiction and spirals downward into evidences of psychotic and self-destructive behavior?

What happens when a mother--much too young to die--succumbs to a horrible tumor and the vibrancy of her life is snuffed away?

What happens when you've searched for a job for three years and every door has been closed, even though you have exhausted your alternatives in seeking employment?

What happens when you are forced to stand by helplessly when an undiagnosed virus literally ravages a life...and before you can prepare yourself, death overtakes it?

What happens when you've invested all your resources in someone only to watch them walk away and pursue a path of certain failure?

The answer to all of these questions is...we grieve.  We suffer.  We ask what else we could have done? We introspectively assess our last words, our actions, our motives.  And we grieve some more.

I have been involved in situations like this almost daily for the last several months.  If not personally, as a friend, a  pastor, a counselor.  Someone who cares.  Someone who grieves.

And I am convinced that the reason God has allowed me to minister in these kinds of  situations for almost forty-five years is because I am persuaded that when all else has failed...there is still God.

A God who can break the bonds of drug addiction.

A God who can comfort a family who has laid their mother to rest. knowing she is with the Lord.

A God who can supply all of our needs--even when our employment situation is not what we would have chosen--and use the situation as a means of becoming more dependent upon him.

 A God who can remind me, even when death has seemingly triumphed, that Christ is the ultimate victor, and an eternity awaits those who have trusted in him.

A God who loves that person who walks away even more than I do--a God who is vested with divine resources that far outstrip mine in accomplishing His purposes in the life of the one I care for.

When all else fails...there is still God.

"But our citizenship is in heaven.  And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ, who by the power that enables Him to bring everything under His control, will transform our lowly bodies so that they will be like His glorious body..."  Philippians 3:20,21.

new years...

We have come through a busy Christmas season, and, hopefully, we have escaped without injury—too many credit card bills, family fatigue, and the post-seasonal “blues”.  For Beverly and I it has truly been a wonderful season with intentional time spent contemplating the true wonder of the season.  That coupled with my November ministry trip to Haiti, Thanksgiving a family trip to Dallas,  a gathering of the local Barrett family on Christmas Day, and a myriad of special church opportunities to worship and celebrate has made this a truly blessed season!

And now it’s on to a new year…with the same potential hazards—exhausting ourselves emotionally and physically in frantic pursuit of all that a new year offers   If that sounds vague let me suggest that there is value in intentionally evaluating meaningful goals in a new year.  Prioritizing what is important helps in that discipline—negotiable and non-negotiable demands on our schedules.  I am doing that again as the new year starts.  I reflected today on my personal goals when I first came to Amador County the second time fifteen plus years ago.  I was  impacted by my reading of Petersen’s THE CONTEMPLATIVE PASTOR; in his preface he asks, “ How can I persuade a person to live by faith and not by works if I have to juggle my schedule to make everything fit into place?”  He concluded that if no one asked him to do anything, he would do these three things as a pastor—pray, preach (“drenching” himself in the Word), and listen (it requires “unhurried leisure”).

I confess my years of ministry have not always reflected those three priorities to which I committed myself when I arrived to help birth Grace Fellowship Church.  But I believe they are still valid for me as a leader today, even in a time of personal transition.

1.       I want to practice what I say I believe about prayer.

2.       I want to preach (and teach) what I have discovered for myself to be true in God’s Word.

3.       I want to listen with “unhurried leisure” so I can better respond to the needs of others.

Petersen writes near the end of his book with regard to congregational expectations, “There are many other things to be done in this wrecked world and we are going to be doing at least some of these, but if we don’t know the foundational realities with which we are dealing—God, kingdom, gospel—we are going to end up living futile, fantasy lives.  Your task is to keep telling the basic story, representing the presence of the Spirit, insisting on the priority of God, speaking the biblical words of command, promise and invitation…”

Pray, preach and listen—these are priorities I affirm once again as I enter this season of transition with you.  It won’t be easy-my personal history reflects that.  But it is essential for me as I seek to pass the baton of pastoral leadership off to Pastor Mark and the other godly men with whom I am privileged to work.

What are your priorities?  How far away are they from the true landscape of your daily life?  Let’s seek God together and commit, with His divine enablement to a more intentional discipline in our lives of loving service to Him—that in the spirit of Romans 12:1, as an “act of spiritual worship”.  If we purpose to do that we may more readily escape the injuries of self-inflicted busy-ness and unfulfilled expectations.  Let’s hold each other to it!  Happy new year!

GRACE, PEACE AND HOPE...gifts that last

Someone walked into our home last night and looked bewilderedly at our tree. There are no gifts under our tree. They did not ask "why?" but I sensed they thought it strange. Maybe we are strange.

. 1. We told our family--no gifts for us. If you want to remember us, make a donation to "Dale's Fund for Haiti"--a fund to support pastors and teachers there.

 2. We don't need ANYTHING. Additionally, we may be moving in the years ahead and we have already accumulated more stuff than we care to move.

 3. For us, a Christmas card with a personal message is as valuable as anything we receive. It is nice to be remembered by our friends and family this way.

 One of our favorite Christmas activities is to sit on the couch and reread all of the Christmas cards and messages we receive. Most importantly, we are in receipt of the greatest gifts we can receive this side of heaven. I have had the privilege of teaching about those the last three weeks at Grace where I have the joy of teaching and preaching.

Grace, as revealed in John 1:14-18, is the gift revealed in the Incarnation of Jesus--God in the flesh--"full of grace and truth". What a blessing to know that because Jesus came to earth as a man--bearing our sins on the cross and paying the price for them, thus providing access to the Father--I now have forgiveness and am a child of God. That truly is a miracle of grace!

Peace is the result of Christ's work as well. Because He was the sacrifice for our sins, and because we stand by grace in His finished work in our behalf, we now have peace with God. Romans 5:1-11 details how that peace, the gift of God in Christ, allows us to live without the emptiness and hopelessness of our own pursuits.

Hope, then, is ours through the "encouragement of the Scriptures", the Word of God. In Romans 15:1-13, Paul concludes by saying, "May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit."

I've received lots of cookies and candy--thanks to all our gourmet cooks at Grace. Other tokens of love and appreciation have been graciously extended to us. Soon enough the cookies and candy will be gone, and the festive Christmas tree in our living room brimming with colorful ornaments and bright lights will be packed away. What remains will be memories of a wonderful Christmas season to be sure--and the enduring matchless gifts of grace, peace and hope in Christ.

A Christmas dinner to remember

Fifteen of us gathered together at a beautifully-decorated home of one of our church families last night. There we enjoyed a dinner "fit for a king"--creamed shrimp and cracker appetizers,fruity sherbet punch, honey-wonderful green salad, honey-glazed ham, cheesy potato casserole, carefully-baked carrots, perfectly-cooked asparagus, with a finishing delectable chocolate cake and/or a tantalizing homemade raspberry-blackberry cobbler! Does it get any better than that?

Yes.

How?

First of all, all of us work together,and we do that in the context of serving others together through our local church.

Furthermore, we all share life together. Some of us have vacationed together; others have traveled to foreign countries together to teach the Word. Still others have labored together as staff members through good and difficult times.

Finally, we all love one another--this in spite of differing opinions, changing relationships, personal crises and the inevitable seasons of life.

So...while the setting was spectacular and the food was indescribably delicious...what I will remember about last night was the people who sat next to me and across from me--people I will always love and never forget, because they have enriched my life.

Thanks to my special friends.

Time with a daughter

I love my children--all four of them--and two step-children who I happily consider my won, Additionally, I have three daughters-in-law and one son-in-law who are a special part of the extended family we call our own.

Occasionally--not nearly often enough--we get to spend time with our children. We were recently with two of our sons and eight of our grandchildren over Thanksgiving and we will be with one of my sons and a daughter and their families--including three grandchildren!--over New Years. These are special times for me, especially as I grow older and relish our times together.

Last week my youngest daughter who is single and a licensed therapist joined us for a few days, all the way from Nashville, Tennessee where she has lived for the last twelve years. Needless to say, I don't see her nearly enough so this visit was one I anticipated with excitement.

When i reflect upon our time I realize that we really didn't do anything spectacular---except spend quality time together. That included a morning walk, a trip down Main Street in Sutter Creek (worth coming to see for yourself!), dinner out at a local Mexican restaurant, a favorite place in El Dorado hills, a brunch at Andrae's (everyone in Amador County has sampled their exquisite homemade breads), and a quick stop on the way to the airport at Burger King(ugh!). We also drove to some familiar territory in Pine Grove where we once lived, attended church where I preached, and played cards (Shanghai, any one?) and sampled cheese and wine together.

A highlight was a Barrett reunion where all local family member joined us including Grandma, and pregnant cousin, Stephanie, who will become a mother again later this week. It was a special time of catching up with one another and sampling Beverly's exquisite snacks and Christmas cookies.

That sounds like alot of activity, but the centerpiece of it all was just being together. I loved reminiscing, talking about matters of personal significance, sharing our dreams for the future, listening to counsel from a loving daughter (remember, she's a therapist...and we asked her), and reaffirming the special place she has in my heart.

Daughters are special. They have a special niche in a father's heart and this past weekend my heart was warmed and enriched by time with my daughter. Hopefully, we'll do it again soon..

Thanksgiving reflections

We accomplished a couple of things this Thanksgiving holiday--we got away in our trailer (a favorite past time) and we spent time with eight of our grandchildren (a most favorite pursuit).

We discovered that deep-fried turkey is delicious (just have to figure out how to make gravy), that fourteen people squeezed together in a 32' x 8' trailer is manageable (especially if you like each other) and that even with rain, tight quarters and no television reception for the football games, it was still a memorable--if not the "best"--Thanksgiving celebration!

What made it so unforgettable? Let me list a few significant things.
1. It was not all about the food and furniture--it was more about being together.
2. It was not all about second helpings and desserts galore--it was more about being thankful we had enough to eat.
3. It was not all about the setting and regalia (or lack of it)--it was more about being with family and enjoying one another.

Having just returned from Haiti--an environment of extreme poverty--it was easy to be thankful. Even sleeping in my trailer and surrounded by the accoutrement's of camping life, I realized I am far better off than most of the world, a significant percentage of whom go to bed cold and hungry at night.

I will look back, I'm certain, at this Thanksgiving with fond memories--focused on how we we celebrated together what was really important. And with the hope that we will do it again...maybe next year!

Off to Haiti

I leave Saturday for my third trip to Haiti. It seems a long time ago that I sat in front of my television screen and viewed the catastrophic damage of the earthquake and heard God say, "Go!"

I have never been disappointed. we have held VBS's for over 1000 children, conducted Bible training seminars for over 125 pastors, built a roof for a school/church servicing 500 children and have enjoyed our relationship cultivated by the passionate heart and hard work of Gilbert Jules.

This trip we will deliver finds for a well in one of the small towns, as well as go to teach over 200 pastors the book of Romans over a four day period, eight hours a day. It is a huge but exciting task. We also will talk about how we can reach out to the children of Haiti, the heart's desire of two women in our church family through a ministry they have dubbed "The Bridge".

I am accompanied by two wonderful brothers from our church and am anxious to see how we can be humble tools in the hands of a mighty God.

Pray for us!

prayer and fasting

There is a little verse in the New Testament that says "Some things come only by prayer and fasting". it is omitted from some of the later biblical translations which utilize earlier manuscripts where that phrase does not occur. Nonetheless, I am convinced that prayer coupled with fasting has potential significance for me--just as it did for the Israelites in the Old Testament--in seeking and knowing God's will.

I am at a time where I am truly anxious to know God's will; in fact, I have a pretty good idea of how He should work. When I read that aloud I realize how foolish it sounds. My tendency is to try to facilitate God's work by stepping in where only He belongs. It is the ultimate arrogance for me to presume I can "give God a hand".

The discipline of simply adhering to God's invitation and command--"Be still and know that I am God"--encourages me to trust Him. A possible translation of that familiar verse is "Cease from your strivings..." There is the sense that when we abandon the pursuit of our efforts to manage things, God can then manifest Himself as God in His presence and all of His power.

The discipline of fasting allows me to focus my attention on something other than indulging my own fleshy appetites while at the same time seeking after God's direction for my life. I don't fast very often, and it really is between God and me whether I fast at all. I am convinced, however, it is an appropriate way for me to "set my affections on things above" and to listen for God's voice.

Transitions

Change is difficult--sometimes brutally so-- and the older I get the more reluctant I am to make changes. I guess that's because there is a certain amount of comfort in how things are. We get accustomed to a daily regimen and as proverbial "creatures of habit" fall into the surmised security of routine.

Interestingly, the life of a minister is predictably unpredictable and offers unplanned interruptions every day that would seem to argue against any presumed routine or schedule but even that, with all of its nuances, becomes an expected part of the daily fare.

My life is about to change and the direction I am going is unclear though cast in the alluring backdrop of semi-retirement. There are a myriad of options to evaluate and as I consider these I have begun to feel the accompanying emotions of grief (leaving the familiar) and apprehension (facing the uncertain).

What I have decided to do each day--and especially this morning early at the office--
is to give each day to the Lord. That may have the misleading scent of super-spirituality, but it is the only way for me to navigate these waters. I offer myself to God, as Paul challenges us in Romans 12:1, and ask God to help me live in the moment. I don't want to be so focused on anticipated changes that i miss the opportunities before me today in the unpredictable schedule of a pastor's life.

Today there is sermon preparation, a small prayer gathering, preparation for a funeral, a meeting with a personal friend, and a basketload of administrative work typical of my mid-week regimen.

So for this day I find comfort in starting my day once again anchoring myself in the certainty of my confidence that God knows all about my future and because of that I can trust Him with the unique challenges that await me today.

In the meantime, the transitions I am contemplating are somewhere between what I know about today and what He knows about tomorrow; in any case, it's a comforting place for me this morning.

the morning after

The transition from vacation to the "real world" is always a challenging one. When Beverly and I get away by ourselves we live life at a more leisurely pace, enjoying hiking(Palm Desert area has lots of places to explore), playing games(we love "Rummy-Que"), eating out (inexpensively), and dreaming together about the future (as uncertain as it is). Since we will be "retiring" soon (I will still have to work part-time), it is fun to contemplate what God has planned for us next.

Things change when I we return home. The "morning after" there is unpacking, washing clothes (thankfully, Bev does that), reading mail, responding to e-mails, scheduling the week's work, responding to the work that is an unavoidable part of ministry. I returned to prepare for two funerals in addition to the regular regimen of pastoral life.

While we were on vacation, one of our extended family had a serious heart attack and almost died; thankfully, she was at the hospital when it occurred and after successfully inserting three stints, is home, doing well, and preparing to return to work. We were reminded again of the shortness of life, the uncertainty of tomorrow. James 4:14 asks us, "What is your life? You are a mist (vapor) that appears for a little while and then vanishes".

"The morning after" a vacation, when we have enjoyed a and restful week unlike our normal routine, jolts me back to reality. Sometimes that is accompanied by a sense of dread and a penchant for complaining. But I am asking God, four "mornings after" later to recognize the value and importance of each day--whether resting or working--and to heed Paul's admonition in Colossians 3:17, "And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him."

a sobering week

This week I experienced what happens in pastoral ministry sometimes--a proliferation of tragedy. A close friend lost his healthy wife to a sudden catastrophic stroke. Days later a young friend, diagnosed two weeks ago with glioblastoma (malignant tumor of the brain), died yesterday morning, his wife and son by his side. And, tragically, a depressed young man took his life leaving a wife and teenage daughter stunned and shattered

All of these were believers. All of these were members of a church I pastored. All of these were more than just congregants. They were my friends.

It is sobering to think of the shortness of life. It is sobering to be reminded of our own mortality. It is sobering to imagine eternity without God.

As a pastor and Hospice chaplain, death is a frequent occurrence in my daily regimen. The closeness of these three relationships makes their passing especially poignant and sobering for me.

I am thankful for the hope of the gospel, the promise of eternal life for those who put their faith in Christ's work of grace for us.

A sobering week...but a time to affirm my faith.

computers and other vices

I live and die by the efficiency of my cumputer.

What a sad state of affairs! I think of all the years I wrote notes and made telephone calls and did just fine. But now, it is almost as if I am paralyzed if my computer is too slow, or fails to comply with my commands.

In recent days I have encountered several computer virsuses (they are unwelcome visitors), a confused e-mail system, and a server speed to slow to accommodate some work needed in developing a new website. Many have tried to help from an IT man from a large hospital network to a volunteer who knows much more than I do (nothing to brag about...he actually knows alot!), to a local professional who maintains all the city systems who threw his hands up in the air and confessed, "I don't know how to fix it!" (whatever it is...)

So I am now between the dilemma of pouring more money into diagnosing a problem that may be irreparable or buying a new computer. I have had this one for 5-6 years and it was the generous gift of a special friend. Until now, it has served me well.

So here's the deal about all of this "too much information about your computer" rambling. I recognize that I have been behaving poorly, even to the point today of apologizing to my secretary who must have wondered the last few days about the scowl etched upon my face. She assured me I had been kind but I think she was being generous. And then there's the sanctuary at home where i have wandered around oblivious to the nicities and daily graces of a beautiful home and a lovely wife. mired in self-pity and frustration.

I am happy to report today that I have emerged from my cocoon of inward contortion and confusion and have greeted the world with a resolute, "I can survive without my computer". And, there is so much more to life than reading my e-mail and having an engineered website.

I am ending this now because I am off to Staples to buy a new computer.

Help!